LET’S PLAY FANTASY POLITICS: Now that the parallel universe known as Trumpworld is taking shape, it’s time to figure out who runs the rest of the free world. Playbook suggests that Angela Merkel and Germany provide the government; the U.K. provide the capital, London, and the mayor, Sadiq Khan; France be in charge of the military; and Italy looks after the food. What other nominations do you have? What does Belgium bring to the table?
FIVE-STAR PARTNERSHIP: The EU is hosting an event for civil society organizations from its poorer Eastern neighbor countries on November 28 and 29 called “Building a Common, Secure and Democratic Future.” With typical self-awareness the event will be held in Brussels’ most expensive hotel: the Steigenberger. You will be able to hear from persecuted journalists as you sip tea from fine china, and ponder “Investing in the future: EU youth policies” in a setting few young people could afford, given their student debts, limited job prospects and the EU’s closed door to new members.
IF YOU’RE NOT ON THE AGENDA, YOU’RE ON THE MENU: With Martin Schulz possibly heading back to Germany to become foreign minister, there may be an opening for a political heavyweight to step in and take the European Parliament crown. Guy Verhofstadt has smelled the political coffee and left nothing to chance at Wednesday’s ALDE group party meeting. He was the first three items on the agenda seen by Playbook! As one disgruntled underling explained it to Playbook: “First, we nominate Guy [to stay on as ALDE leader]. Second, you have a chance to complain about him, not that it matters after we’ve nominated him. Third, he will tell us what everyone gets in the mid-term reshuffle. You can bet it will be based on the complaints and by whom.”
CZECHS WANT IVANA TO BE US AMBASSADOR: Ivana, the Czech-born first wife of the president-elect and mother of his children Ivanka, Donald Jr. and Eric, said in an interview last week that she would ask her ex for the top diplomatic post in her native country — a move welcomed by a senior figure in the prime minister’s office in Prague.
POWER PLAY OF THE WEEK: Nigel Farage trumps Theresa May, by snagging the first meeting between President-elect Trump and a foreign politician. The move — rubber stamped by Farage’s golden elevator happy snap — left May fuming that third parties were not welcome in the “special relationship.” Who could have guessed the European Parliament would be part of Trump’s inner circle?
BORIS DESCRIBES FREE MOVEMENT AS ‘NONSENSE’: “Freedom of movement is a myth,” said the U.K.’s foreign minister in an interview with a Czech newspaper. “It is nonsense to say that free movement is one of the fundamental freedoms of the EU.”
NEW SCHEME CUTS OFF SCHENGEN ZONE FROM UK: Perhaps Johnson meant that free movement will soon come with a price tag. In any case, British media have turned a sensible idea promoted by their own European commissioner — the creation of electronic records for everyone entering the visa-free zone — into a story about imposing costs on Brits traveling to the EU after the country leaves the Union. Memo across the Channel: It’s not about you. It’s also what you asked for.
VICELAND: Flanders will gain a lifestyle and culture TV channel launched by Vice in early 2017. It will initially be available to Telenet subscribers only.
ESSAY TOPIC OF THE WEEK: The EU is a system incapable of receiving feedback. Discuss.
SEPARATED AT BIRTH: Who’s that luxuriously bearded chap who looks a bit like European Commissioner for Health Vytenis Andriukaitis? It’s the man himself promoting Movember, the facial-hair-for-charity campaign, supporting efforts to combat prostate cancer. It suits him, we say.
GAFFES AND LAUGHS:
Miraculously appearing terror cell phone: A cell phone belonging to Paris suicide bomber Brahim Abdeslam, seized months before the Paris attacks and allegedly lost by Belgian police, has reportedly been found under a pile of documents in a Molenbeek police station.
American customs pre-clearance coming to Brussels airport: From next summer U.S. customs officers will carry out inspections relating to immigration and border control on Belgian rather than American soil. “It’s like moving the American border to Belgium, where part of the airport will be considered American territory,” Brussels Airport spokesperson Florence Muls told La Libre Belgique. Dublin is currently the only city in Europe with such a system already in place.
Trump on Broadway: Before he got into real estate Trump fancied himself as an actor and then as a theater investor/producer. His first and only venture? A comedy called “Paris is Out!” in 1970, according to a Financial Times profile.
BY THE NUMBERS:
171: The price in US dollars that Ivana Trump’s 1996 tome “The Best Is Yet to Come: Coping With Divorce and Enjoying Life Again” is selling for on Amazon — USED!
2,000,000: The lead Hillary Clinton is expected to have in the popular vote when it’s all done.
38: The number of extra electoral college votes Clinton would have gladly swapped the 2,000,000 ordinary votes for.
FEUD OF THE WEEK:
Not in the family: National Front leader Marine Le Pen previewed her presidential campaign team in Paris on Tuesday but there was one member of the Le Pen family noticeably missing — her niece Marion Maréchal-Le Pen. French media has been reporting that Marine was “furious” about her absence. Marion was invited to speak to MPs in Russia and visited a Russian World War II memorial.
WHO’S UP
Nigel Farage: Now the U.S. president-elect’s main contact point with Europe
Frank-Walter Steinmeier: Named as the joint candidate of the center-right and center-left to be the next German president.
WHO’S DOWN
Boyko Borisov: The Bulgarian prime minister resigned this week after his party lost his presidential election, handing the seat over a pro-Russian socialist.
Theresa May: It was finally revealed in a memo this week what most had already figured out — that the British prime minister has no real plan for Brexit