LIBERAL SHOWDOWN: There’s nothing like being relegated to the fourth biggest group in the European Parliament to help send you into the twilight zone. That’s what appears to be happening to the Liberals, who need a new president for the Europe-wide ALDE party. In the yellow corner is the unlikely combination of an ex-commissioner not known for his exuberance (Siim Kallas) and an MEP who is also a drag queen (Frederick Federley). In the other yellow corner is low-profile but influential Dutch MEP Hans van Baalen, best known for helping to create new standards for the car industry (luckily he worked for Mercedes, not Volkswagen). To show how committed he is to getting the job, Kallas put a video on YouTube rebutting allegations that he planned to run for the presidency of Estonia and would not have enough time to be the ALDE president. He failed to explain why anyone should vote for him. Bemused Van Baalen voters are banking it — they think they’ll win around 60 percent of the votes next week at the Party’s Budapest conference.
NAKED PRODUCT PLACEMENT: The Finnish government has its own set of official emojis, proving just how cutting edge it is. Um, except one of them is a 1990s Nokia handset (remember them?) They’ve also thrown in naked Finns in saunas, for all those times you next to text your friends about how hot and sweaty EU inter-institutional relations makes you.
THE HAPPIEST HOUR: Where better to discuss “a liberal approach to alcohol policies in the EU” than over a few drinks at Place Lux? On Tuesday (November 10) Christofer Fjellner (EPP), Syed Kamall (ECR) and Alexander Graf Lambsdorff (ALDE) guzzled down brews with Paul Skehan from alcohol industry lobby SpiritsEurope, who was given the floor to argue for more relaxed alcohol laws. The invite said that only “friendly journalists” were welcome.
LOVE, FEDERER: Alex Stubb, Finland’s finance minister, never misses a good summit or ministerial meeting if he can help it. But the possible collapse of his government kept him from Brussels this week. As a consolation prize he spent Monday tweeting pictures of himself with tennis legend Roger Federer.
RISKY BUSINESS: Staffers and members of the European Parliament were invited Monday to talk about the stress and psychological risks of working in the institution (no word about support for visitors stressed out from permanently getting lost in the Parliament’s labyrinth-like buildings). Philip Scott, head of the Prevention and Well-being at Work unit, led the therapy session, which was live-streamed so staff in Luxembourg didn’t miss out. Spouses and partners get their own “coffee morning” to deal with the stress of moving to a new country.
GIVE HER MOORE, MOORE, MOORE: Competition Commissioner Margrethe Vestager let Playbook into her deepest secrets Tuesday morning — including that she much prefers Roger Moore as James Bond over Daniel Craig in his speedos. Pierce Brosnan doesn’t even get a look in.
WIKI IS THE WORD: The Commission ordered a scientific study on the health risks caused by additives in tobacco products but the study uses Wikipedia nine times to stand up its opinion! To be fair, the references provide basic definitions of chemical compounds, but spendthrifts are still scratching their heads over the credibility of the independent contractors behind the study — the Scientific Committee on Emerging and Newly Identified Health Risks, which has a budget of €330,000.
BEER, THE NEW CLIMATE CHANGE FRONTIER: Speaking of hot and sweaty, a Belgian brewery is having to halt production because of climate change. Cantillon craft brewery makes sour lambic beers, and can only do so in winter because they use open vats to expose their brews to airborne bacteria and yeast (most beers are brewed in closed vats). But the current temperatures are far too warm for that, making the beer undrinkable.
VEGAN GUINNESS: The 256-year-old Irish stout once advertised itself with the slogan “Guinness is good for you.” Now that might be true. Guinness is going vegan at the end of 2016, removing fish bladder (yummy!), a so-far integral part of its filtration process.
TO RUSSIA WITH LOVE: Sir Elton John plans to meet Russian President Vladimir Putin in Moscow to discuss gay rights. Famously hoaxed into having a conversation on the subject with a fake Putin in September, the real Putin called Sir Elton to make sure that he was not offended. Hence the idea of a play date. “I’m going to meet him and I’m looking forward to it,” Sir Elton told the BBC. “Whether or not I make any progress, I don’t know…”
SEPARATED AT BIRTH: Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau, a hunky liberal, and actor Luke Wilson.
ITALIAN SOCCER CHIEF SAYS ‘KEEP THE JEWS AND GAYS AWAY’: No Elton John pow-wow with the president of the Italian Football Federation, Carlo Tavecchio. He’s under fire for a double whammy of both anti-semetic and homophobic remarks. Corriere della Sera published recordings of him talking about the sale of a building to a “lousy Jew.” Although he added that he has “nothing against the Jews,” he thinks “it is best to keep them at bay.” When the conversation turned to rumors about the private life of a former soccer official, Tavecchio asked if it was true that he was homosexual, adding “I have nothing against them, but keep them away from me. I am very normal.” Did we mention he’s also a five-time convicted criminal?
WHO’S UP:
David Cameron: The British prime minister had Europe’s full attention as he unveiled his shopping list of reforms he wants from the EU. Now all he has to do is get 27 other countries and the British people to back them!
Aung San Suu Kyi: The former political prisoner’s opposition National League for Democracy party had a very successful election on Tuesday, a poll described as Myanmar’s most democratic for 25 years.
WHO’S DOWN:
Pedro Passos Coelho: Asked to put together a center-right government 10 days ago, the Portuguese prime minister failed miserably in his attempts to form a stable government. Here come the leftists.
Russian athletes: The World Anti-Doping Agency wants Russia banned from international track and field events because of systematic, state-sponsored doping backed up by bribery, espionage and intimidation.